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Nonveg And Sardar non veg msg in hindi for girlfriend

Nonveg And Sardar

dirty jokes , nonveg jokes , sardar jokes , sexy jokesNo comments :



अंग्रेजो का एक महीने का

त्योहार चल रहा था

जिसमे वो

NON VEG नही खाते थे.


उनके मौहल्ले मे एक सरदार जी रहते थे,

जो हर रोज चिकन बनाकर खाते थे.

चिकन की खुशबू से परेशान होकर

अंग्रेजो ने अपने पादरी से शिकायत की.


पादरी ने सरदार जी को कहा

कि

तुम भी ईसाई धर्म स्वीकार कर लो,

जिससे किसी को आपसे कोई

समस्या ना हो.


हमारे सरदार जी मान गए.


तो पादरी ने सरदार जी पर

Holy water छिडकते हुए कहा


"You born as a "SIKH"

but Now you are a "Christian"


अगले दिन फिर सरदार जी के घर से

चिकन की खुशबू आई तो सब अंग्रेजो ने

पादरी से उसकी फिर शिकायत की.

अब पादरी अंग्रेजो को साथ लेकर

सरदार जी के घर मे गए तो देखा,

सरदार जी चिकन पर

Holy Water छिडक रहे थे

और कह रहे थे,


"You born as "Chicken"

but

Now you are "Potato"


(धर्म परिवर्तन करने वाले और

करवाने वाले लोगो को इस बात से

सबक लेना चाहिए)

सरदार जी के लिए एक


लाइक करना तो बनता है


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aab news Wednesday, 20 May 2015
The Best Dirty Joke of the year

My favourite Dirty jokes in Hindi - 1 badshah apne sipahiyo ke sath ek

talab par nahane ke liye gaya waha
kuch ladkiya pehle se naha rahi thi
badshah ki sawari aate dekh wo sari
bahar aa gayi unme se ek ladki
badshah ko pasand aa gayi..!!
Badshah apne mahel wapas
aaya,lekin badshah ki nazro ke
samne bar bar usi ladki ki surat aa
rahi thi,uska mann kisi kaam me
nahi lag raha tha,raat hui sari raat
badshah usi ladki ke bare me sochta
raha,subah usne apne sipahiyo ko
hukm diya jao pata karo wo ladki
kaha rehti hai,sipahiyo ne pata
lagaya,
Uss ladki ka baap sunaar tha,
badshah ne sunaar ko darbar me
bulaya.
4 din guzarne k baad bhi sunar
badshah k darbar me nahi
aya,badshah ne dubara bulawa
bheja,is bar 8 din guzar gaye wo
nahi aaya,badshah ko gussa aa gaya
aur usne sunar ko giraftar karne k
liye Sipahi bheje.
Jab woh Sunar k ghar pahuche to
ghar ko Tala laga hua tha,
Badshah ne Sipahiyon ko Hukm diya
ki Sunaar ko dhundo.
Sipahiyo ne sunar ko har jagah
dhunda lekin wo unko kahi nhi mila.
Fir unhone ek tarkeeb nikali aur
ailaan kiya ke jo bhi sunaar ko
dhundne me madat karega use 1kg
sona diya jayega.ek hafta guzar
gaya,
Fir bhi sunaar nahi mila.
Fir ailaan kiya gaya ki jo bhi sunaar
ko chupne me madat karega use
sooli pe chadaya jayega.aur ek hafta
guzar gaya,
Fir bhi sunaar nahi mila.
Fir 1 mahina guzar gya fir bhi sunar
nhi mila
Fir raja ne ailaan kiya ki agar sunar
nhi mila toh woh pure rajya ko saja
dega fir bhi sunar nahi mila.
Aakhir mei raja ne aas paas ke kahi
rajyo ke raja o se madat maangi,
Unhone bhi sunar ko apne apne
rajya mei dhoonda fir sunar nhi
mila.
Badshah mayus ho gaya,ek din
badshah ne ek sapna dekha sapne
me usi taalab ko dekha aur sapne
me hi daud kar us taalab ke pas
gaya lekin waha bhi koi nahi
tha,udas hokar jab piche palta to ek
gyani baba nazar aaye unhone nadi
ko lag kar ek jhopde ki taraf ishara
kiya aur kaha tujhe jiski talash hai
wo wahi hai,badshah chaunk kar
nind se utha aur apne sipahiyo ko
lekar us talab ke pas gaya,waha wo
sapne wala jhopda use nazar
aaya,badshah khush ho gaya,aur jab
jhopde me ghusa to ek ladki aur aur
ek boodha aadmi nazar aaye,lekin
wo ladki badsurat thi aur uska baap
bhikhari tha.
Ab bhi sunar nahi mila,
Aakhir kar tang aakar badshah ne
apne sipahiyo ko Nakara karar diya
aur case CBI ko saunp diya,
Phir bhi SUNAR nahi MILA,
Aur aakhir Raja ka,uske siphaiyon
ka,dusre rajya walo ka aur CBI walo
ka Sunar ko dhundne me sara Waqt
aise barbad hua jaise Aap ka is
message ko padhne me hua...
jis ka koi matlab nahi.
Hasna mat, mere sath bhi aisa hua
tha..!!
kisi aur ko bhej ke badla le lo! ??
Sunar mil jae to bata dena ushki
ladki bahut khubsurat hai ..!!

aab news
madam ki chaddi

16 baras ki choot    सेक्सी कविता    जवान लड़की के दूध में क्या होता है.
Madam : Tu 2 din School Kyo Nahi
Aaya?
.
Boy: Mam, Meri Ek hi Chaddi Hai Aur
Wo
Mummy Ne Dhoyi Thi.
Isiliye Parso Nahi
Aaya..
.
.
Madam: Aur Kal ?
.
.
Boy: Kal Main School Aane Ke Liye
Nikla....
Aapke Ghar Ke Paas Aaya..
Dekha To
.
Aapki Chaddi Sookh Rahi Thi To
Mujhe
Laga Ki Aap Bhi School Nahi
Aayengi..!


16 baras ki choot    
सेक्सी कविता    
जवान लड़की के दूध में क्या होता है.
Next Joke:RAKSHABANDHAN SMS

Previous Joke:FUNNY SMS COLLECTION

aab news
Parents Raat Ko Sex Kar Rahe Thhey Achanak Hi (funny non veg jokes)
Parents Raat Ko Sex Kar Rahe Thhey
Achanak Hi Bache Ki Neend Khull Gayi
Papa: “Beta Neend Nahi Aa Rahi Kya?”Beta: “Jab Kisi Ki Maa Chudh Rahi Ho To Bachhe Ko Kese Neend Aayegi

SEXY HINDI JOKES aage padhe HINDI BEST JOKE OF THE YEAR                  50 PAISE KE TEEN CONDOM      LATEST SEXY JOKES

Ladka-Ladki Car Mein Raat Ko Ghumne Jaa Rahe The
Ladki: “Aaj Main Tumhe Wo Jagah Dikhaungi, Jahaan Se Mera Doodh Aata Hai
Ladka Ye Sunkar Bahut Khush Hua Aur Tharaki Andaaz Mein Bola.
Ladka: “Haan-Haan Jaldi Dikhao, Jaanu
Ladki Muskurati Hue Boli: “Wo Dekho Krishna Dairy
चुदाई के पैसे लड़के ही क्यूँ देते हैं                       बच्चा कहाँ से बहार आता हे ?
 मालिक को किस        16-Year-Old-Sexy-Girls 
Marwari Jokes     Sexy sms ये लंड कैसा होता है



16 वर्ष की चूत    सेक्सी कविता   Ab Kya Pariyon Ki Gaand Dekhega
Tawaif Ne Apne Dalaal Ke Saath Shaadi Karli,
Kisi Ne Puchha: “Aap Ke Husband Kya Karte Hai?
Tawaif: “Wo Meri Hole Sale Company Ke Salesman Hai

College Ke Trip Par Bache Ghumne Gaye Thhe, Aur Usmein Santa Ki Beti Chinki Bhi Thhi,
Jaisa Ki Aap Log Jante Ho Ki Jaha 1 Se Jyada Ladkiya Ho, Vaha Bas Duniya Bhar Ki Ajeebo Gareeb Baatein Shuru.
Ese Hi Chinki Ki Ek Friend Ne Sabhi Friends Ke Aage Ek Question Rakha.
Ladki: “Koi Btayega Ki Doodh Aur Ladki Mein Kya Faraq Hota Hai
Chinki: “Ja Pagli Tujhe Itna Bhi Nahi Pata, Doodh Jab Gharam Hota Hai To Malayi Uper Aati Hai, Aur Ladki Jab Garam Ho To Malayi Niche Aati Hai


चुदाई के पैसे लड़के ही क्यूँ देते हैं                       बच्चा कहाँ से बहार आता हे ?
 मालिक को किस        16-Year-Old-Sexy-Girls 

Marwari Jokes     Sexy sms ये लंड कैसा होता है

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aab news
Ek Bar Ek Ladke Ne Ladki Ko Kaha
Ek Bar Ek Ladke Ne Ladki Ko Kaha: “Tum Kitni Kaali Ho”
Ladki: “Ismein Tumhare Baap Ka Kaya Jata Hai”
Ladka: “Agar Mere Baap Ka Gaya Hota To Tum Itni Kaali Na Hoti“




Patni Ne Apne Pati Se Pucha: “Agar Duniya 20 Minutes Mein Khatam Hone Wali Ho Toh Tum Sabse Pehle Kya Karna Chahoge?”
Pati: “Simple Si Baat Hai Sex Karna Chahunga“.
Patni: “Fir Baaki Ke 19 Minutes Kya Karoge“?



Santa Ek Baar Kapde Press Karvane Dhobi Ke Pass Gaya
To Dobhi Ki Biwi Bahar Bethi Hoti Hai Aur Ek Dum Mast Aur Chaka Chak Maal Hoti Hai
Santa Ki Usko Dekh Ke Niyat Kharab Ho Jati Hai Aur Wo Usko Bolta Hai
Santa: “100 Rs Dunga, Degi?”
Dhobi Ki Biwi Bhi Bindas Thhi, Boli..
Biwi: “500 Rs Main Tujhe Dungi, Mere Pati Ka Le Le“



Kisi Baat Pe Boy-Friend Aur Girl-Friend Ka Break-Up Ho Raha Thha
Ladki Gusse Se Ladke Ko Boli.
Ladki: “Aaj Se Hamara Rishta Khatam, Ek-Dusre Ko Diye Sare Gift Wapis Karte Hai”
Ladka: “Theek Hai, To Phir Mobile Recharge Se Shuru Karte Hai”
Ladki Ek Dum Se Rang Badalte Hue Boli: “Jaanu, Ab Main Majak Bhi Nahi Kar Sakti Kya?“


Santa Apni Wife Ke Saath Dinner Ke Liye Restaurant Mein Jata Hai.
Dinner Kerne Ke Baad Waiter Aata Hai.
Waiter: “Aapka Bill Sir”
Santa: “Yeh Lo Mera Card”
Waiter: “But Sir, Yeh Nahi Chalega, Ye Toh Ration Card Hai”
Santa: “Toh Phir Bahaar Kya Majaak Mein Likha Hai All Cards Are Accepted.”



Man To Priest: “Forgive Me Father For I Have Sinned I Usually Read Dirty Jokes And View Pictures Of Girls On My Mobile”
Priest: “Forward Your Sins To Me!“


Wife Computer On Karte Hue, Husbanad Se Boli: “Tumhara Passworde Kya Hai.”
Husband Garv Se Bola: “Penis”
Ek Dum Se Wife Zor Zor Se Husne Lag Gayi
Kyon Ki Computer Said: “Your Password Is Too Short“


Ladka Ladki Ki Taarif Mein Bola: “Tum Gaana Bahut Achha Gaati Ho”
Ladki: “Nahi Yaar Mein To Sirf Bathroom Singer Hoon”
Ladka: “Acha… To Kisi Din Bulao Na Dono Mill Ke Mehfil Jamatay Han.”

aab news Thursday, 30 April 2015
Koi Khubsoorat Chehra Aankho Ke Saamne
Baba Saxidas Ko Majak Bhi Bada Pasand Hai. Ekk Din Baba Ke Ek Kaminey Bhakt Ne Baba Saxidas Se Poocha
Bhakt: “Baba Ji, Aisi Kaun Si Jagah Hai, Jaha Aadmi Or Aurat Dono Ke Baal Ghungrale Hote Hai?”
Baba Saxidas: “Dirty Mind Bachha, Vo Jagha Hai West Indies“


Pati-Patni Maje Se Zordaar Sex Kar Rahe The, Sex Karte-Karte Patni Ne Puchha.
Patni: “Aaaaaah Janu, Aaj Itni Der Kyu Laga Rahe Ho?”
Pati: “Kya Karu? Koi Khubsoorat Chehra Aankho Ke Saamne Hi Nahi Aa Raha“



Teacher Ne Class Mein Pappu Se Pucha
Teacher: “Batao Ladkiya Dupatta Kyun Pahnti Hai?”
Pappu: “Mam, Science Ki Wajah Se”
Teacher: “Wo Kaisi”
Pappu: “Kyunki Science Bhi Is Baat Ko Manti Hai Ki Khane Peene Ki Cheezo Ko Dhakk Kar Rakhna Chahiye“

aab news
20 Call Girls Ke Saath Sex Kar Chuka Hun
Miya Biwi Ne Suhagrat Manayi Aur Thak Ke Beth Gaye.
Husband Ne Biwi Pe Rob Marne Ke Liye Bola.
Husband: “Main Shadi Se Pahle 20 Call Girls Ke Saath Sex Kar Chuka Hun”
Biwi Sharmatey Hue: “Oh Ji Mene Aapko Pahchan Liya, Aap Wohi Hona Na Jo 500 Rs Ka Nakli Note De Gaye Thhe“


Chodumal Khan Sahab Ne Choti Umar Ki Ek Ladki Fasa Li, Aur Ek Din Uske Bholepan Ko Dekh Ke Ek Sher Likh Dala
Nadaan Hai Itni Wo Ke Kuch Samajhti Hi Nahi, Chodumal
Seene Se Lipat Ke Puchti Hai, Ye Niche Se Kya Chubh Raha Hai?


Ustad Chodumal Khan Saab Ne Apni Girlfriend Ko Sex Ke Liye Manane Ke Liye Ek Sher Sunaya
Jubaan Pe Jab Bhi Naam Tera Aata Hai,
Ye Haath Mere Niche Chala Jaata Hai,
Tumhe Paane Ke Liye Kuch Bhi Kar Jaunga,
Ek Baar Karne De Warna Hila Hila Ke Mar Jaunga.




Chodumal Apni Girlfriend Ke Sath Date Mar Ke Vapis Aaye Aur Itne Khush The Ki Ek Shayari Likh Dali.
Us Ne Honton Se Chuu Kar…
Loude Pe Nasha Kar Diya…
Lund Ki Baat To Aur Thi Yaaro,
Usne To Jhanton Ko Bhi Khada Kar Diya.
Must Read Ustad Chodumal Khan Saab



Ustad Chodumal Khan Sahab Apni Girlfriend Ki Shadi Se Laut Kar Aaye Aur Ek Sher Bola
Kal Apni Girlfriend Ki Shaadi Mein Jaakar Ye Ehsaas Hua,
Waah Waah, Bhai Waah
Kal Apni Girlfriend Ki Shaadi Mein Jaakar Ye Ehsaas Hua,
Ki..
Biryaani Achhi Ho To, Choot Bhi Fiki Lagti Hai..



Ustad Chodumal Khan Sahab Ne Apne Ek Friend Ke Kafi Time Se Chalte Ishq Ko Dekh Us Se Pucha
Unn Ki Aankho Mein Bhi Kabhi Tumne Gor Se Dekha Hai Kya “Sameer”
Ya Sirf Sari Zindagi Mammo (Boobs) Ki Paimaish Karne Mein Hi Nikal Di.




Santa Roz Biwi Ko Sex Ke Waqt Bolta Tha.
Santa: “Aur Tight Kar – Aur Tight Kar, Achhe Se Tight Kar”
Biwi Tang Aakar Ek Din Gusse Se Boli: “Bhosdi Ke Bahar Jaa Ke Ganne Ke Juice Ki Machine Main Dal Le, Tight Bhi Pura Hoga Aur Juice Bhi Jyada Niklega“



Ek Ladki Roti Hui Police Station Ayi Aur Inspector Ko Boli
Ladki: “Kal Raat Ko Andhere Ka Fayda Utha Ke Santa Ne Mera Rape Kar Diya”
Inspector Hairan Hokar: “Madam Ek To Aap Bol Rahi Ho Ki Raat Thhi, Dusra Pure Mohalle Mein Aapko Sirf Santa Pe Hi Shak Kyu Hua?”
Ladki Rote Hue: “Kyunki, Mujhe Usko Batana Pada Thha Ki Kya Karna Hai Aur Kaisi Karna Hai“


Santa Ke Do Bache The Aur Uski Biwi Nahi Chahti Thi Ki Aur Bachhe Ho
So Isliye Vo Use Har Bar Sex Karte Hue Condom Lagane Ko Bola Karti Thi
Ek Din Raat Ko Santa Jab Sex Karne Laga To Condom Lagate Hue Bola
Santa: “Uff Ye Roz Roz Condom Laga Ke Main To Dukhi Ho Gaya Hun”
Biwi Sharmate Hue Masumiyat Se Boli: “Aap Ispe Lamination Hi Kyu Nahi Karva Lete?“


Pappu Santa Se: “Daddy Aap To Chutiya Ho”
Santa Hairani Se: “Kyu Be?”
Pappu: “Aaj Jab Aap Bahar Gaye Thhe To Mummy Uncle Se Kah Rahi Thhi Ki Jaldi Karo Wo Chutiya Aane Wala Hai“

aab news
Ek Aadmi Ki Nayi Nayi Shadi Hui
Santa Apni Shaadi Ke Teen Din Pehle Call Girl Ke Paas Sex Ke Liye Jata Hai.
Call Girl Ko Itna Maja Aa Raha Tha Ke Usne Uske Land Pe Chaki (Bite) Kaat Li,
Santa Doctor Ke Paas Gaya, Doctor Ne Uske Land Per Patti Bandh Ke Tape Lagai Aur Use Achi Tarah Pack Kar Diya.
Jab Teen Din Baad Santa Ki Shaadi Hui To Wo Apni Patni Ke Saath Suhaag Raat Banane Laga. Uski Patni Ne Kaha.
Patni: “Lo Ji Sonyo, Pesh Hai Ek Dam Fresh & Unused Ch*t”
Santa Ka Dimag Bhi Kam Kiya Aur Vo Bola
Santa: “Tu Fresh Ki Baat Kar Rahi Hai, Idhar Hamne To Aaj Tak Lode Ki Packing Bhi Nahi Kholi“


Ek Aadmi Ki Nayi Nayi Shadi Hui, November Ka Mahina Thha Aur Kadake Ki Sardi Padd Rahi Thi.
Kamre Mein Aate Hi Vo Rajayi Mein Gussa Aur So Gaya.
Patni Ne Ye Dekha Aur Thodi Der Bad Usko Kohni Mar Ke Boli.
Patni: “Suno Ji, Meri Taango Ke Bich Mein Ek Mori (Hole) Bhi Hai”
Aadmi Ne Ye Suna Aur Gusse Se Bola: “To Band Kar Us Mori Ko, Main Bhi Sochu Rajayi Mein Thandi Hawa Kaha Se Aa Rahi Hai“

aab news
Nayi Dulhan Ko Dulhe Ne Suhagrat Pe Muh
Nayi Dulhan Ko Dulhe Ne Suhagrat Pe Muh Dikhai Ke Rs 25,000 Diye.
Dulhan Itne Sare Paise Dekh Kar Ghabra Ke Boli.
Dulhan: “Suno Ji Pura Khandaan Thokega Kya?“



Suhaagrat Ki Raat Ko Dulha-Dulhan Se Puchhta Hai.
Dulha: “Sach-Sach Bata Kabhi Kiya Hai Ki Nahi?”
Dulhan: “Nahi Jaanu, Kabhi Kiya Nahi, Bas Hamesha Karwaya Hai“


Saat Doston Ki Suhagraat Ke Agle Din, Vo Apni Apni Wife Ke Bare Mein Baatein Share Kar Rahe Thhe
1st Bola: “Meri Biwi To 1110, Jese Marzi Usse Karo”
2nd Bola: “Meri Biwi 3310 Nikli, 36 Saal Ka Purana Model”
3rd Bola: “Meri Biwi N95, Zara Pyar Se Chalana Padta Hai”
4th Bola: “Meri Biwi To Blackberry Hai, Got Everything But Complicated”
5th Bola: “Meri Biwi Double Sim Hai Kabhi Aage Dalo Kabi Peechey”
6th Bola: “Meri Biwi Saali China Ka Mobile Nikli, Pehli Raat Main Choot Phat Gayi”
7th Bechara Rote Hue Bola: “Oye Yaro Main To Lut Gaya, Barbaad Ho Gaya Mera Set Khula Hua Nikla“

aab news
Bachhe Kaisi Paida Hota Hai
Class Mein Golu Ne Teacher Se Pucha
Golu: “Mam Bachhe Kaisi Paida Hota Hai?”
Teacher Samjhate Hue: “Asman Se Ek Sunder Si Pari Aati Hai, Aur Maa Ke Takiye Ke Niche Ek Fool Rakh Ke Chali Jati Hai, Aur Agle Din Vo Ek Nanha Sa Bacha Ban Jata Hai”
Pappu Ye Sab Sun Raha Thha, Us Se Raha Na Gaya Bench Se Utha Aur Madam Se Bola
Pappu: “Madam Ji, To Kya Wo Thoka Thukayi Wala Kam Ab Band Ho Gaya Hai“



Madam Claas Mein Bachho Ko Pada Rahi Thhi
I For Ink
J For Jug
K For Kite
L For Lund

Ohh! Sorry Baccho Galti Se Muh Se Nikal Gaya.

Pappu: “Koi Baat Nahi Madam Wapas Muh Mein Le Lijiye“


Class Mein Ek Nayi Ladki Aayi To Pappu Ka Tharki Mann Mein Usko Patane Ka Khayal Aya
Vo Us Ladki Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola
Pappu: “Agar Tum 1 Minute Mein Apna Weight 500grams Kam Kar Do To, Tum Bahut Hi Jyada Sunder Aur Sexy Lagogi, Aur Main Tumhe Pyar Bhi Karunga”
Ladki Khush Hoke Boli: “Achha, Iske Liye Mujhe Kya Karna Hoga?”

Pappu: “Bas Apne Kapde Utaar Do“







aab news
Ek 6 Inch Ki Cheez Hai Jisko Hath Mein funny
Pappu Ne Apni Girlfriend Se Puchha
Pappu: “Ek 6 Inch Ki Cheez Hai Jisko Hath Mein Pakadte Hi Ajeeb Sa Ehsas Hone Lagta Hai Us Cheez Ka Naam Batao?”
Ladki Sharam Ke maare: “Chhiii, Kitne Besharam Ho Tum.”
Pappu: “Are Main To 500 Rupye Ke Note Ki Baat Kar Raha Tha, Tumhara To Dimaag Hi Ganda Hai.”



Teacher Ne Class Mein Pappu Se Pucha
Teacher: “Batao Ladkiya Dupatta Kyun Pahnti Hai?”
Pappu: “Mam, Science Ki Wajah Se”
Teacher: “Wo Kaisi”
Pappu: “Kyunki Science Bhi Is Baat Ko Manti Hai Ki Khane Peene Ki Cheezo Ko Dhakk Kar Rakhna Chahiye“



Pappu Ek Din Class Ke Darwaje Ke Pass Wale Bench Pe Betha Muth Mar Raha Thha.
Achanak Uski Madam Class Mein Aa Jati Hai Aur Use Esa Karte Dekh Leti Hai.
Is Se Pahle Madam Kuch Bolti, Pappu Fatafatt Bola.
Pappu: “Mam, 100 Saal Jiyogi Aap.“

aab news
Fir Mene Pyar Se Diya To Choot Gaya jokes
Woh Mangti Thi Mein Deta Na Tha,
Jawaab Uske Kisi Bhi Sawaal Ka.
Ek Din Uss Ne Manga To Khara Ho Gya,
Rongata Rongata Meray Jazbat Ka
Ek Din Wo Boli Peeche Se Nahi Age Se Karo,
Tum Deedar Mere Husn-E-Shabaab Ka
Bada Dard Hota Hai Jab Ander Jaata Hai,
Kaano Mein Ik Ik Lafz Mere Yaar Ka.
Fir Mene Pyar Se Diya To Choot Gaya
Haath Se Mere Laal Phool Gulaab Ka
Uss Ne Kaha Ke Kar Lo Mager Kisi Ko Na Batana
Bus Chupa Rahe Yeh Afsaana Hamare Pyar Ka



Ek Ladki Ka Dil Chay Peene Ko Kiya
Par Jaise Hi Usne Fridge Khola To Usmein Doodh Hi Nahi Thha
Tabhi Use Idea Aya, Vo Apne Kamre Mein Gayi
Apne Kapde Utaare, Naye Kapde Pahne Aur Market Se Doodh Leke Aayi Aur Fir Chay Banake Pee.
Arey Aap Logo Ne Kyu Apna Pakad Liya Tha, Joke To Pura Veg Tha





Ye Tab Ki Baat Hai, Jab Pappu 5th Class Mein Thha.
Uski Class Ki Ek Teacher Pregnant Thhi, Usko Dekh Ke Ek Din Pappu Bola
Pappu: “Madam Aapko Beta Hone Wala Hai Ya Beti?”
Madam Bade Pyar Se Boli: “Ye Baat Mujhe Kaisi Pata Hogi?”
Pappu: “Madam Mujhe Pata Hai Aapko Kya Hone Wala Hai, Aapko Ladka Hone Wala Hai”
Teacher Hairani Se: “Arey, Tujhe Ye Baat Kaisi Pata?”
Pappu: “Mam Vo Jab Aap Chair Pe Pair Utha Ke Beth Ti Ho To Ander Se Uski Mooche Dikhti Hai“

aab news
Bhabhi Ji, Dimag Pe Zor Laga Ke non-veg jokes
Garmiyon Mein Ek Din Banta Apne Dost Santa Ke Ghar Kisi Kaam Se Jata Hai.
Garmi Ki Vajah Se Buri Tarah Se Paseene Se Nahaya Hota Hai, Aur Santa Se Bola
Banta: “Yaar, Ye Sooraj Raat Ko Kyu Nahi Nikalta?”
Santa: “Kya Pata Nikalta Bhi Ho Andhera Itna Hota Hai Ki Pata Hi Nahi Chalta“



Baba Saxidas Ke Ek Bhakt Ne Unse Puchha
Bhakt: “Baba Ji, Ye Love Marrigae Ka Kya Fayda Hai?”
Baba Ji Muskuraye Aur Bhakt Ko Ankh Marte Hue Bole
Baba Ji: “Bacha Simple, Suhag Raat Wale Din Sharmane Mein Time Waste Nahi Hota“


Aurat Chappal Wali Dukaan Pe.
Aurat: “Bhaiya, Ek Chappal Dikhao?”
Dukandar: “Number Kya Hai?”
Aurat: “36 Number”
Dukandar: “Bhabhi Ji, Dimag Pe Zor Laga Ke Socho, Kya Lene Aayi Ho“


Banta: “Nahi Yaar Aisa To Koi Bhi Station Nahi Hai Jahaan Koi Train Na Ruke”
Santa: “Acha Toh Tu Haar Gaya Na”
Banta: “Haan Yaar Phir Bhi Tu Bata”
Santa: “Abe Gadhe Radio Staion Hai Na Jahaan Koi Train Nahi Rukti“

aab news
Adult jokes Meri Bhi Pahle Karti Thi Ab Nahi Karti
Do Ladkiyaan Train Mein Safar Kar Rahi Thi,
Ek Ladki Ne Time Pass Ke Liye Dusri Se Puchha
Ladki: “Tujhe Kaisa Pati Chahiye?”
Dusri: “Mujhe Crorepati Chahiye”
Pahli: “Crorepati Na Mile To?”
Dusri: “50 Lakh Ke 2 Pati Chalenge”
Pahli: “50 Lakh Ke Na Mile To?”
Dusri: “25 Lakh Ke 4 Pati Bhi Chalenge”
Uppar Birth Pe Lete Hue Santa Ne Ye Suna Aur Bola.
Santa: “Jab Ye 1000 Rupaye Pe Aaye To Mujhe Bata Dena“




Santa Ne Ek Din Badi Udasi Se Apne Dost Banta Ko Bola.
Santa: “Yaar Meri Biwi Gussa Bahut Karti Hai”
Banta: “Meri Bhi Pahle Karti Thi Ab Nahi Karti”
Santa: “Achha, Aisa Tum Ne Kya Elaaj Kiya?”
Banta Muskurate Hue: “Kuch Khas Nahi, Wo Ek Din Gusse Mein Thi, Maine Kah Diya Ke Budhape Mein Gussa Aa Hi Jata Hai, Us Din Se Wo Gussa Nahi Karti“



Santa Ko Loose Motions Lage The, Doctor Ke Paas Jaake Bola
Santa: “Dr Saab, Patli Patli Tatti Aati Hai, Khane Ka Bhi Dil Nahi Karta”
Doctor Kagaz Pe Ek Dawayi Likh Ke Dete Hue Bola
Doctor: “Ye Dawayi Leke Kha Liyo, Moti Moti Tatti Aayegi, Jaise Marji Kaat Ke Kha Liyo“


Santa Kisi Kaam Se Apni Biwi Ke Office Jata Hai.
Bina Kisi Se Pemission Liye Wo Sidha Uske Cabin Mein Chala Jata Hai
Waha Dekhta Hai Ki Uski Patni Apne Boss Ki Godh Mein Bethi Hai.
Aisa Dekhte Hi Santa Gusse Se Apni Patni Preeto Se Bola.
Santa: “Chal Ghar Chal Preeto, Aisi Jagah Kaam Nahi Karna Chahiye Jahaan Staff Ke Baithne Ke Liye Ek Chair Bhi Na Ho“

aab news
jokes Vidya Balan Blouse Is Nominated For

A Guy Sits In A Taxi And Sees His Wife Entering A Hotel With Another Man
He Ask The Driver: “Do You Want To Earn Rs 1000 Right Away?.”
The Driver Excitedly Says: “What Do I Have To Do?”
Man: “Bring My Wife By The Hair Out Of That Hotel, Here’s A Picture Of Her.”
After A While The Driver Is Seen Dragging A Woman By The Hair,
While Kicking And Beating Her And Puts Her In The Taxi.
The Husband Surprised And Says Says: “This Is Not My Wife”
The Driver Replied: “Nooooo, This Is Mine, Hold Her For Me. I’m Going For Yours“


Breaking News…

Vidya Balan Blouse Is Nominated For . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Best Supporting Role.


Salman Khan Ne Baba Saxidas Ji Ka Bada Naam Suna Tha
To Ek Din Ja Pahuncha Unke Pass Aur Bola
Salman Khan: “Kitne Percent Log Samajte Hai Ki Meri Aur Katrina Ki Shaadi Hogi?”
Baba Ji: “Sirf 10%”
Salman: “Just 10% Why?”
Baba Ji: “Kyuki 90% Log Khud Katrina Se Shaadi Karna Chahte Hai“

aab news